This is not how we drew it up. Our plan was to watch our kids grow up in our friendly Fredericton neighborhood and enjoy their adolescent years here. That was Plan A, and we didn’t have a Plan B.

Over the last few months we have been trying to figure out our path ahead — what will be best for each of us: Me, Jackie and Abby. We have decided that a change of scenery and being closer to our Alberta families would serve us well. Our plan is to head west in August. Calgary. More on this shortly.

An oldie, but a goodie.

Are we sure this is the right decision? No.

Deciding to leave Fredericton — realizing this is “probably” the right decision — creates a whole new wave of emotions: grief, fear, frustration, uncertainty, sadness, etc. Pulling the cord in the relocation-chute is almost like reenacting what we went through last year: angst and pain due to an unimaginable change in our lives. But this time there is one difference: We are calling the shots. We now decide our fate.

We genuinely hate the idea of leaving. It feels like rock bottom. We lose our son, and now we opt-out of our caring community that is home to many dear friends. I have concluded that it is impossible to explain how we developed such deep friendships in a short period of time. But we did, and that is what makes the Maritimes unique in North America. It’s also a testament to Jackson who was a great-bringer-of-people-together; a trait we must now embrace as our own, and “go it alone” without the Right Bower. Euchre players will appreciate that reference.

A relocation seems logical to some. But the truth is, we threw logic out the window. We are leaving a tight and supportive community for the unknown. I am leaving a high paying job and a low mortgage for a lower paying job and a higher mortgage. We are ripping Abby away from her friends and neighborhood that have provided her with so much comfort — maybe more than we know or realize. Clearly this move is the result of something other than reason….so clearly it is the right thing to do. We are following our hearts.  Knowing that the status quo is unacceptable, we became open to something new that would help us live in the present, and not dwell on the past, or gaze into the future.

We love our Fredericton home. Tough to watch it go on the market.

A new job and a new community will help us live in the “now”. It’s not an ideal “now” but it is a step forward nonetheless. The change will energize us. I am grateful that the University of Calgary is giving me the opportunity to join their team. I’m looking forward to throwing myself into their Campaign, and using Jackson’s legacy as my motivation. The U of C team is aware of our loss and journey, and has offered me a challenging and invigorating job….despite some senior staff having read these posts!! Gratefulness breeds loyalty, and I’m nothing if not loyal … I believe a new allegiance  is percolating.  Despite this, I will never lose sight of how supportive the STU community has been. I wish we could stay, but we have concluded that we cannot.

Leaving Fredericton will be terribly painful. Life is perfect here except for one enormous hole in our hearts that we can’t fill. This is Jackson’s home. This has become our home. Families lent their support, shared in our tears, and vested emotionally in our grief and loss. We remain grateful for this support and solidarity. It carried us at times. It is hard for us to leave our home and Jackson Square in the care of others, and it is particularly difficult to move Abby who loves her friends, school and neighborhood dearly. Nonetheless, we feel we should embark on our next chapter without the constant reminders of our loss.

Jackson had many good friends. These are four of them. The hardest thing about this move is not being near these future tools. FYI, in our tight knit group of Acadia friends, being called at tool is a compliment.

One of Jackson’s best friends, Gregor, has continued to join us for lunch every Wednesday despite losing his good pal. I think I will miss Gregor more than anyone. That’s not intended as a slight on our many close friends. It is a testament to G’s character , his relationship with our family, and his friendship with Jackson.

OK, shelf the emotional stuff for a minute. We are now setting our sights on Calgary as an ideal place for a fresh start. U of C here we come!  We/I  look forward to being a part of the University’s team and current momentum, but also the peaceful mountain sunsets, seeing Mom, Jack, Jackie’s parents and sister’s family, Uncle Steve, sister Laura, Dr. Currie and even brother Dave, KD and their boys, on a more regular basis. I have enjoyed the rivalry between Edmonton and Calgary and have constantly poked at the cowpokes of cowtown …..I will be changing my tune quickly, but not my NHL or CFL colors! Never shall I dawn a Flames or Stampeders jersey. Oilers & Esks or bust for this family. The Dinos – absolutely! It will be a treat to cheer for a good football team! But never the Stamps or the Godless Flames. Never.

Jackie taking in a Cavendish sunset last month on Jackson’s rocks; where we scattered his ashes.

Last month Glenn and Sandra Thompson joined us for a hike to the end of the New London Bay sandspit. They are wise counsel.

One final blog photo of Jackson for your to enjoy. This was taken at the Flori-Bama roadhouse on the border of Florida and Alabama;  an old Jimmy Buffett hang out. He wrote about it in his song Bama Breeze. Have a listen and treat yourself to the cheesiest video ever (that I just came across 5 mins ago!). Jacko is skeptical of the all the bras strewn about the joint. I love his raised eye brow. The boy could wiggle his ears, flare his nostrils and raise either eye brow. … so you can imagine how talented he was with his rear end. Jackie did not leave a bra in case you are wondering….